Excerpt from Love- Grieving Workbook

 

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Chapter 2. “Love-Grieving”

 

We don’t want to grieve. We want to be happy and have our family healthy and protected. That is the dream life we have been creating and working for daily. Unfortunately, things shifted, and we are left in a situation we know nothing about. All we have is a bunch of mismatched emotions that we can’t explain to others, or clearly understand ourselves. Then, one day a neighbor brings over a pasta dish and asks, “How are you doing?” You’re thinking, “Oh no. Do you really want to know the truth? Regardless I don’t have the words or patience to explain.” The only thing you can say is, “I’m doing alright. Thank you for the meal, I’ll be sure to return the plate.” You go back inside and cry uncontrollably and don’t understand why someone’s beautiful generosity has brought your day to a distressing halt.

          Hearing of this overwhelming experience from numerous people inspired me to write this workbook to help others on their journey. I’m calling this “love-grieving” because it involves an active mix of these two extreme sentiments happening simultaneously. Love, an endearing feeling of deep affection, along with grief’s painful sadness and sorrow.

          Emotions are all over the place and you cannot seem to find peace. The worst part is the one you used to turn to in a crisis, is no longer there. Now, not only are you grieving for the loss of their physical presence, but for the love and support they provided. Where is the love you used to receive? What happens to the love that we continue to send them? It seems one sided now. It’s hard to process all these different emotions at one time. All you are sure of, is your longing for them to be near you again. You’re missing their face, smile, voice, and smell. You want them back in your life.

            We cannot make the pain go away just because we don’t want to hurt anymore. The pain is still the connection. It is the connection that says, “I loved you when you were here, and I will love and miss you 

always.” So, don’t wish that grief away too fast.

          Your grief is your LOVE.

         

Masukawa, Mira Love-Grieving - A Healing Workbook for Bereavement. Amazon, 2019.