In Your Honor...

In honor of your loved one, you are receiving this link to help you through this difficult time. 

It has been forwarded to you by someone who cares.

I am a grief therapist and have put together some excerpts from my books and community resources  to help you through this process.

Excerpt from Love- Grieving Workbook

 

Chapter 2. “Love-Grieving”

 

We don’t want to grieve. This is not what we worked our whole life for. We want to be happy and have our family healthy and protected. That is the dream life we have been creating. Unfortunately, things shifted and we are left in a situation we know nothing about. All we have is a bunch of mismatched emotions that we can’t explain to others, or clearly understand ourselves. Then one day a neighbor brings over a pasta dish and asks, “How are you doing?” Your thinking, “Oh no. Do you really want to know the truth? Regardless I don’t have the words or patience to explain.” The only thing you can say is, “I’m doing alright, thank you for the meal, I’ll be sure to return the plate.” You go back inside and cry uncontrollably and you don’t understand why someone’s beautiful generosity has brought your day to a distressing halt.

            I’m terming this “love-grieving” because it is an active mix of these 2 extreme sentiments happening simultaneously. Love, an endearing feeling of deep affection, along with grief’s painful sadness and sorrow.

          Emotions are all over, you can’t seem to find peace, and where is the one that you use to turn to in crisis? Now, not only are you grieving for the loss of their physical presence, but for the love and support they provided. Where is the love you used to receive? What happened to that? What happens to the actual love that we continue to send them? It seems only one sided now. It’s very hard to process all these different emotions at one time. All you are sure of, is your longing for them to be near you again. You’re missing their face, smile, voice and smell. You want them to come back.

          We can’t make the pain go away just because we don’t want to hurt anymore. Actually, the pain is still the connection. It is the connection that says I loved you when you were here, and I will love and miss you always. So, don’t wish that grief away too fast.

 

Your grief is your LOVE.

Masukawa, Mira Love-Grieving - A Healing Workbook for Bereavement. Amazon, 2019.

Resources

 

For General Information on Grief

  • AARP’s Grief and Loss
    Offers articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.

  • OptionB
    An online community that collects and shares stories of adversity to help people build resiliency and find joy

For Death of Armed Forces or Law Enforcement Personnel

  • COPS—Concerns of Police Survivors, Inc.
    Nationwide nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization providing resources to assist in rebuilding the lives of the survivors of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty, as determined by federal government criteria.

For Death of a Child/Children

For Homicide Survivors

  • POMC (Parents of Murdered Children)
    POMC’s vision is to provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims while working to create a world free of murder.

For Life-Challenging Illness

  • American Cancer Society
    Information on cancer, including coping with a long-term illness and dealing with grief and loss after death from cancer.

  • Candelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation
    A national nonprofit membership organization with a mission is to educate, support, serve and advocate for families of children with cancer, survivors of childhood cancer and the professionals who care for them.

  • Cancer Care
    National nonprofit organization providing free professional help to people with all cancers.

  • National Cancer Institute
    This patient summary on loss, grief and bereavement is adapted from the summary written for health professionals by cancer experts.

  • The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
    National organization dedicated to advancing the art and science of end-of-life care.

For Youth

  • National Child Traumatic Stress Network
    Funded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration to raise the standard of care and improve the access to services to children, families and communities.

  • Coalition to Support Grieving Students
    The Coalition to Support Grieving Students is a collaboration of the leading professional organizations that have come together with a common conviction: grieving students need the support and care of the school community.

  • The Dougy Center
    The Dougy Center provides a safe place for those—children, teens, young adults and their families—who are grieving a death to share their experiences. We do this through peer support groups, education and training.

  • National Alliance for Grieving Children
    NAGC is a nonprofit organization that raises awareness about the needs of children and teens who are grieving a death and provides education and resources for anyone who supports them.

  • Books for elementary school students:
    When Someone Very Special Dies by Marge Heegaard
    Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen 
    When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Larene Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
    The Invisible String by Patrice Karst & Geoff Stevenson
    I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas & Leslie Harker